Life: The Knee Diagnosis
Monday July 28, Reston, VA.
I worked myself up a couple of times over the weekend, I’m not gonna lie. Laying low and staying cool in the treetops, I did slip into one of those dark corners within myself where I meet fear. Spinning scenarios in my head over and over, coming out of it mostly ok, but sometimes imagining the worst. I may be one of the most positive people I know, but I’m neither immune nor naive. It’s not always all love.
Facing this: the possibility of losing my mobility. I don’t like it.
Also, I hate very few things in life: the American healthcare system is one. Finding myself in a medical office of almost any genre awakens the child in me - as if suddenly I’m 5 years old again. The adult in me knows intellectually and experientially that I feel this way because none of this system’s experience is designed to care for the entire human in me. In us.
Makes me feel like I don’t matter. I don’t like it.
So, it took all the athleticism and grace I have to get to that knee doctor’s appointment today. I even used a newly acquired metacognition tool I learned from Mel Robbins’ keynote at Northwestern’s Annual Meeting last week to get out of bed for it - after 2 snoozes. 5.4.3.2.1.
I kept myself together for the whole journey. Some $300, 3 X-rays and 67 minutes later, the doctor arrived.
Imagine my delight when he immediately opened up the conversation with a compliment and a series of adjacent observations and questions about my Expos hat! 💗 Turns out that magnet for connection with good guys I use as a style and sun protection tool - the hat - ended up unexpectedly serving me in the moment I needed it the most today. 🙏🏼
So it worked out for me with the nice blue eyed doc. I left with what I came for: 2 orders, one for an MRI, one for PT.
And more. Make it a five star for bedside manners, Dr. K. ✨.
Here’s why: I also left feeling reassured.
He showed me the general health of my knee using the X-rays I had just taken. We discussed the meniscus tear from a volleyball injury arthroscopically repaired in the early 2000s. I saw the arthritis-causing scar tissue deposit around the previously affected area. He gave me all the context I needed to understand his early indication of a possible like-injury that the MRI will further inform. Later.
He confirmed my understanding of my own knees’ physiology. “This is meniscus - does it hurt"? Not so much. “This is tendon - does it hurt?” YES!
And to my pointing at the knee picture in the office, he spoke my language - we’re mostly focused on the soft tissue, now. Namaste.
Of surprise, he encouraged me to take PT seriously - to maintain the integrity of what I’ve got. What I heard him say is: “Caroline, those tendons are tender, it might just be that you need to learn a new workout and change your routine.”
Message received Junior - and I accept. Watch me follow your orders for 4 weeks.
Bonus: The surgeon and I didn’t talk about surgery. We didn’t talk about any pain meds. He even encouraged me to take my time.
Enough time for healing, introspection and Leo Season. ✨
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P.S. Hit me up with your PT pros recommendations. I’m looking for a cash pay - freelancer genre. 🙏🏼
